Yesterday I set out at approximately 11:15 for what should have been a 20 minute walk to the store to pick up some food items. Because I don’t have data I took screenshots of the route and (thought I) studied the steps carefully.
The third step in something told me I was going the wrong way, already 15 minutes into the walk, so I turned back to go a different route only to wind up 20 minutes later exactly where I’d turned around. Yep. A big fxkin circle.
After several turn-arounds I attempted, unsuccessfully, to ask 2 passersby if I was going in the right direction. But the older black lady kept saying she only spike French, and the elderly white guy appeared grumpy and not interested. A few steps later and a “Grüsse” with a smile my eyes begged to the guy I’m approaching “please help me”. He confirmed I was in the right direction but went the wrong way. I turned right when I should’ve turned left. “You’re on the right road, but it’s a 20 minute walk that direction”
I was riddled with exhaustion as the heat of the day was creeping into my pores.
I settled on the small grocer I’d passed 15 minutes sooner, which I’d decided against because their fruit was the price of a full plate. But I better get this food here, thinking how far I’d have to walk holding groceries on the way back.
Finally, I reached home about 12:50, back and shoulders sore from the weight of the bag and the heavy ass pineapple I decided to hold because the bag would be too heavy. Exhausted from climbing the stairs to the top of the village where the house sits. Only to unpack my bag and realize three of the (most expensive) items I’d purchased weren’t even in my bag. I literally felt tears want to surface.
But still, yesterday was a beautiful day.
I found not 1 but 3 places to buy food, know which way not to go, and learned 2 new words in Swiss-German. I’m thankful I was able to take money out of the ATM with no problem, and the sore on the bottom of my foot from wearing the wrong shoes has eased this morning. I got more than my allotted daily steps in, and my legs look Amazing!
None of yesterday’s events will matter in a month, a year, 5 years. And that’s what meditation has taught me. That it’s not about being at peace all the time because life is always perfect, but that sometimes shit will happen and whether it happens or not I have the choice to allow it to take over me.
None of yesterday’s events will matter in a month, a year, 5 years. And that’s what meditation has taught me.
Of course I was upset. I had to pop the idea out my head everytime it surfaced during the day – “I lost fckin 12 francs!” But surfacing those thoughts only brought shame and disappointment. I don’t want that stress in my body. So I’d say out loud just as quickly as the thought came, “And. What you gon do about it?? Shut it.”
There was only 30 minutes until it was time to teach. No time to cook or prep anything cause I didn’t prepare my classroom. But my students didn’t deserve to be affected by the events I’d experienced beforehand. So I washed up, put on my teacher red lipstick and rocked TF out those classes.
Everyday ain’t perfect. Annoyances will happen. All the time. Being a foreigner, and black, and not speaking the language I’m susceptible to a lot more ish to go wrong. When it does, I look to learn the lesson now instead of internalize everything that went wrong.
After class I was sad I didn’t have the items to make the dish I’d been hoping for, but I decided to make a list of everything I’m grateful for, including the food I was able to grab and the friendly faces along the way. It helped remind me what went wrong is far less meaningful than all that goes right.
Everyday ain’t perfect. Annoyances will happen. All the time.
Everyday can be sunshine. It’s about perspective.
I didn’t post this yesterday because I put myself on social media restriction. I’ve also noticed my increased tendency to check FB and IG lately and needed to check my intentions. Be sure I’m not crying for validity in exchange for what some days make me feel very needy emotionally. And craving to connect to familiar faces, even if they’re internet strangers.
I’m going back to that damn store today. And I’m taking the bike the owner mentioned I could use this time! And I’ll probably have to repurchase the items. But I’ll make a video tutorial of the dish, and share it. Cause it’s gonna be Bomb ❤